![]() ![]() Some, like Manchester-based Kay, are there because they enjoy lurking. Not everyone is part of the group to share information about men. Now we’re meeting complete strangers on the internet, we need to look out for each other.” ![]() ![]() It used to be that we dated people with mutual friends so someone could vouch. I feel lucky that I didn’t fall victim, because I easily could have. “ told me she is online specifically to warn women about this guy. Jessie wasn’t sure if she should stop seeing the guy – at least, not until someone spotted her comment underneath the original message and sent her a direct message with more information. I initially felt that I had to take that post with a grain of salt.” I was so shocked – it was kind of scary because I did not pick up on any of this on my date. Someone had posted calling him a cheater and an abuser, accusing him of blackmail and violence. “The next day I was scrolling Facebook and saw his picture. “I felt like he had a good head on his shoulders,” she tells me. Jessie, 32, was sceptical when she saw a post about a “super charismatic” guy she’d been on a date with in one US-based group. Not everyone is willing to believe everything they read online and some members openly question the motives of those who post their traumatic experiences. At the same time, there’s no way for a woman to corroborate her story unless other members back her up. By the very nature of the Are We Dating The Same Guy groups, nobody can defend themselves if someone posts about them. Social media can act as an arena for public persecution as much as it can act as a vehicle for change. Posting a guy’s personal information drastically increases the chance that the post will get back to him.” “There are legal concerns, ethical concerns and safety concerns. “I've been working on creating training materials so we can educate more women on how to do everything we do to protect the groups, but some of it is incredibly nuanced,” she says. The London mod acknowledges the complexity that goes into running the group, where posts can include everything from “is my boyfriend cheating on me?” to more serious allegations of financial fraud, sexual assault and stalking. “Sometimes men will bank on women not being open with each other and will continue to do the same thing to multiple girls without being held accountable,” she explains. His date said that he was too pushy he claims that she came back to his place, “acted weird and then left”.īambi, a member of the London group and one of its counterparts in Italy, counters that the group helps women to vet potential partners. He was alerted to a post about him in the city’s group by three different friends. Andre – whose name, like all the daters in this piece, has been changed to protect his privacy – is a 27-year-old from London who uses Tinder and Bumble. So, too, can your read on how a date went. “It feels amazing to be helping protect so many women,” an anonymous moderator of the London group tells VICE.īut in the world of dating discourse, definitions of a red flag can differ dramatically. And in a world where almost two million people are on Tinder in the UK alone, a community that has your back can make all the difference. They are difficult to read, detailing instances of coercion, assault, racism, extortion and abuse.īy collating these walking red flags, women get to – in theory – crowdsource their own safety. These usually carry a trigger warning and are more frequently anonymous. In some cases, a post is a warning to all members. Are We Dating the Same Guy works like this: A person will post a screenshot of a man’s dating profile from an app and ask, “any tea?” Members will respond with what they know about the guy: first-hand accounts, stories of friends matching, screenshots of chats and so on. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |